To my very beautiful, intelligent, loving children: ♥ A mother thinks about her child day & night, even if they’re not with her. A mom loves her child in a way that they will never understand. A mom will be there for her child when no one else will. A mom will take a bullet, stand in front of a train, & ask the powers that be to take her instead of her child. ♥ No matter what anyone says to you, no matter how distant you grow from me, I love you, completely, unconditionally. I wish I could give you what you want and come back, but I just can’t. You both deserve so much better than having me for a mother. I miss you both so much.
“Angels with silver wings shouldn’t know suffering; I wish I could take the pain for you…”
I know you will never see this. But I know if I say any of this to you, it will just be twisted around like everything else.
Be happy, be strong, love with all your heart, but above all else: Be true to yourselves. Don’t ever let someone take who you are away from you. Be proud to think for yourself. Be brave when others try to beat you down for your beliefs.
No matter how far away I am, just know that I have always and will always love you more than anything else in this world. As much as I may wish I was never born, I realize if that was the case, neither of you would have been. I may be a waste of life, but you two are not and never will be. The only thing I’ve ever done that really matters in the scheme of things is the fact that you both were born.
I love you Nikodemos Alexander Hansen. I love you Katana Mariannia Hansen. Forever and always.